My kids now sleep in their own rooms(finally!!) and even though my son stays thoughout in his ,my daughter finds many excuses to come to our room or have us sleep with her.
With her cute smile and sweetness its often tough not to indulge her for a little while.
So everyday we cuddle together and read a book until she is ready to doze off. Even when there are days when I am tired and just want to sleep ,I cherish these little mommy daughter moments we share. I ask her how the day went in her daycare and she goes on and on what she played and who played with her and who did not etc.
Last night I was saying how her brother is going to be 5 in July and then he will go to school. So she asks mummy I am three now so I will 5 next year.
I correct her saying she will 4 this year and 5 next year and then go to school.
She is excited"yeah i can go in a school bus to school..." then falls silent for a moment and slowly asks "can I go to Texas school?"
Surprised , I asked her Why texas?who is there?
And she smiles saying Kyan,my friend is in kindercare in Texas...
Kyan and my daughter were best buddies in 2- year old class at daycare and this year when she returns there he and his family moved to warmer climates of Texas from Minnesota.
My daughter has no clue where Texas is until I tell her we need to fly to get there and its far far away. We need money to buy tickets..
She ponders on that for some time as I hope she gets some sleep. Finally declares-"when I grow up ,I will make lot of money and go to Texas".
Ok Sweety-thats fine with me and she is all relived now that she has my permission. and ready to sleep.
As she drifted into dreamland,I smiled to myself and thought I had to write this down and some 20 years later show her and maybe ask her if she still wants to go to Texas and look for her first love:-)
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Jobtitle: Mom,Homemaker
I came across this interesting article on Salary.com and prompted me to pen down my thoughts.
Often at social gathering ,interacting with less familiar people,I am often asked if I am working for which I always answer with a smile that I stay at home and take care of my little kids. To which I get the "look " from them.
By look I mean its either a look of disdain- assuming I am not educated enough to find a job. If they do know that I have a PG degree, its a look of pity- assuming I am lazy and not smart enough to do something better than stay at home.
In my mom's days, people always related to a homemaker in a positive way,but these days if you are educated and still are a stay at home mom-then there is something terribly wrong with you.
I was thankful for having my mom at home always ready with yummy food, never too busy to listen how my day went,always keeping the home clean and helping us out with everything.
Who the hell thinks being a mom is easy???
In my working days before I had kids, I used to think being a "full time" mom was easy.But later when I became a mom of 1 and very soon 2 kids,I realised this maybe probably the toughest job on earth. Here is hysterical way of describing the job of mom.
POSITION :Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma
JOB DESCRIPTION:Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES:The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT &PROMOTION:Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you .
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
So to all my working mom friends-hats off to you managing corporate world and world at home. For my stay at home mom friends-Always feel its the best job in the world.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
"You don't love me"
"!@## %^ love me"-mumbled my talkative daughter.
I said "what?" and my 3 year old repeats sadly" you don't love me mummy".
That day I was busy with long overdue housecleaning,laundry ,cooking, juggling between my part time job and kids...its always a long list for us moms.
My little one has this habit of interrupting anything I do with questions, or saying she wants to help,or asking me to help out with an activity after 5 seconds into doing it.
So after a couple of these,I say try to do it yourself or go find something to do while I got back to the chores. Eventually I reach a point where I choose to pay attention to only the most dire situations.All others manage to get a "uh ah" or "yes" or "no".
I didn't realise I had been ignoring her so much until she made the statement-"You are not talking to me. You don't love me..." That instant I left everything I was doing,picked her up and tried my best to console her.
Like all little kids she felt better and forgot the whole thing instantly and went back to her computer game.
But I could not help but wonder how many times like this have I ignored my children,considering household duties more important than them.
I am sure not too far away are the days when they become teenagers and don't want to spend even a little time talking to us, may even be embarrassed when we hug or kiss them in public or even say "I love you".
At least till things get more complicated, let me try to take life slow and enjoy every day in their carefree innocent life.
I said "what?" and my 3 year old repeats sadly" you don't love me mummy".
That day I was busy with long overdue housecleaning,laundry ,cooking, juggling between my part time job and kids...its always a long list for us moms.
My little one has this habit of interrupting anything I do with questions, or saying she wants to help,or asking me to help out with an activity after 5 seconds into doing it.
So after a couple of these,I say try to do it yourself or go find something to do while I got back to the chores. Eventually I reach a point where I choose to pay attention to only the most dire situations.All others manage to get a "uh ah" or "yes" or "no".
I didn't realise I had been ignoring her so much until she made the statement-"You are not talking to me. You don't love me..." That instant I left everything I was doing,picked her up and tried my best to console her.
Like all little kids she felt better and forgot the whole thing instantly and went back to her computer game.
But I could not help but wonder how many times like this have I ignored my children,considering household duties more important than them.
I am sure not too far away are the days when they become teenagers and don't want to spend even a little time talking to us, may even be embarrassed when we hug or kiss them in public or even say "I love you".
At least till things get more complicated, let me try to take life slow and enjoy every day in their carefree innocent life.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Masala Idli
I was inspired to start blogging from a good friend JZ,who has an absolutely beautiful blog where she puts up her culinary experiments and recipes.She always encouraged me to start one myself. Not a great cook and no good at researching cooking related stuff,I thought I will stick to a journal kind.
Today I tried a little recipe at home and thought will post it here as a dedication to my friend.
Idlis are a staple at my home,but I often end up with left over idlis-4-5 of them which none in family wants to eat a day later.I came across this idea from recipe for masala idlis which is essentially made from leftover idlis. Gave it a few twists like adding more vegetables and I must say the result was pretty good.
Idlis-5 cut into cubes
Tomato-1 big,chopped
Onion- 1 medium,chopped
green chilly-sliced lengthwise-2
Coriander leaves-for garnish
ginger-finely chopped-1/2 tbsp
Carrot-grated( optional-I used 1 carrot)
In a pan,heat oil and season with mustard,urud dal and curry leaves.
Add onion and saute till its a little brown,then add ginger,green chilli and tomato and grated carrot. Add salt,chill powder,turmeric powder(according to amount of spiciness needed-I used very little)After 2 mins,Add 1/2 glass of water. Put in the idlis and heat till all water is absorbed.
Remove from fire and garnish with coriander leaves and a pinch of garam masala( I omitted garam masala)
Today I tried a little recipe at home and thought will post it here as a dedication to my friend.
Idlis are a staple at my home,but I often end up with left over idlis-4-5 of them which none in family wants to eat a day later.I came across this idea from recipe for masala idlis which is essentially made from leftover idlis. Gave it a few twists like adding more vegetables and I must say the result was pretty good.
Idlis-5 cut into cubes
Tomato-1 big,chopped
Onion- 1 medium,chopped
green chilly-sliced lengthwise-2
Coriander leaves-for garnish
ginger-finely chopped-1/2 tbsp
Carrot-grated( optional-I used 1 carrot)
In a pan,heat oil and season with mustard,urud dal and curry leaves.
Add onion and saute till its a little brown,then add ginger,green chilli and tomato and grated carrot. Add salt,chill powder,turmeric powder(according to amount of spiciness needed-I used very little)After 2 mins,Add 1/2 glass of water. Put in the idlis and heat till all water is absorbed.
Remove from fire and garnish with coriander leaves and a pinch of garam masala( I omitted garam masala)
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Spring is here!!
Minneapolis has been home for me since Dec 2001 and every winter since then I wonder what I am doing here. We have almost 6 months of cold weather negative temps,snow,sleet,hail and everything. As I sit staring at the snow,my mind often go to the greenery of Kerala,my home state back in India .
Take my word for it-Snow all around everyday is not anywhere as romantic as they look in hindi movies. Its really funny when you see the songs with actresses in skimpy outfits dancing in the snow while the macho hero is all suited up.( Check out the song from movie Pukar where Madhuri dixit wears a blue chiffon saree and is swaying away to a song pictured on floating ice with Anil Kapoor in full suit)
no wonder they demand so much money...
Even though being so used to this climate,I cannot get out without atleast a sweater and jacket.
So where was I??
Oh Ok..in spite of the long winter here..come April-May,we have the best season of the year-SPRING.
The grass begins to turn green,trees start showing signs of life with tiny green stubs popping on the branches,flowers bloom .I often think we should have a video camera focused on trees that can capture the growth ever second. Every day there is so much change. Well since that doesn't seem possible,this year I am taking a picture of a tree in our front yard since the snow melted every week,just to capture the changes that happen so fast. Attaching pictures taken yesterday and last Sunday..will keep updating every week . Even while I envy people who live in warmer,friendlier, almost constant weather,weathering a long winter and seeing spring eventually does make me appreciate it a lot more and motivate me to make good use of the few precious beautiful days untill October:-)
Take my word for it-Snow all around everyday is not anywhere as romantic as they look in hindi movies. Its really funny when you see the songs with actresses in skimpy outfits dancing in the snow while the macho hero is all suited up.( Check out the song from movie Pukar where Madhuri dixit wears a blue chiffon saree and is swaying away to a song pictured on floating ice with Anil Kapoor in full suit)
no wonder they demand so much money...
Even though being so used to this climate,I cannot get out without atleast a sweater and jacket.
So where was I??
Oh Ok..in spite of the long winter here..come April-May,we have the best season of the year-SPRING.
The grass begins to turn green,trees start showing signs of life with tiny green stubs popping on the branches,flowers bloom .I often think we should have a video camera focused on trees that can capture the growth ever second. Every day there is so much change. Well since that doesn't seem possible,this year I am taking a picture of a tree in our front yard since the snow melted every week,just to capture the changes that happen so fast. Attaching pictures taken yesterday and last Sunday..will keep updating every week . Even while I envy people who live in warmer,friendlier, almost constant weather,weathering a long winter and seeing spring eventually does make me appreciate it a lot more and motivate me to make good use of the few precious beautiful days untill October:-)
Drive Safe
Yesterday at the fitness centre where we take the kids swimming I saw a well built man come out while we were just going in.I was wondering where he looked familiar from.Then its struck me-he was the cop who gave me the ticket for not yielding and hitting a car a month ago.
That day I was taking my daughter to her daycare, and its a route I have taken so many times. For an instant my mind wandered. I remember stopping at the STOP sign at the T junction where the main road had speed limit of 45mph.I had to turn left.I look right and it was clear,and I step on the gas and I look to my left and to my shock,there comes 5-6 cars . I braked but was 1/2 second late and already hit an SUV.
Seconds later I dialed my husband as I had no idea what to do next.All he asked was if my daughter and I are fine,don't worry about anything else.The person I hit pulled over his car and came over to find out how we were.Luckily we were all fine except for some major work on the vehicles. Minutes later a police car pulls over,enquires what happened,takes our licences,insurance info ,files a report and eventually hands over a ticket for $125:-((
I drive back home because I am too flustered and shocked to drive to main road again ..but on reaching home my daughter is adamant she wants to go to school. So I said to myself as long as we live in US,there is no avoiding driving. At the school,my daughter is so excited and she blurts out "my mummy hit a car ..ya"as though it was a scene from a favorite video game and soon surrounded by curious friends and worried teachers. She enjoyed being the centre of attention:-)
At the end of the day its just a small accident due to my carelessness and overconfidence and we are maybe poorer by $250(for now- and more when we get new insurance rates for next year),I can't help wonder how if I had been 2 seconds late to react,my little accident would have been so much more dangerous.
I guess this made me a better driver and try not to let my mind wander when I am behind the wheels and am responsible for lives in my car and on the road.
All you drivers...Be Safe..Drive responsibly
That day I was taking my daughter to her daycare, and its a route I have taken so many times. For an instant my mind wandered. I remember stopping at the STOP sign at the T junction where the main road had speed limit of 45mph.I had to turn left.I look right and it was clear,and I step on the gas and I look to my left and to my shock,there comes 5-6 cars . I braked but was 1/2 second late and already hit an SUV.
Seconds later I dialed my husband as I had no idea what to do next.All he asked was if my daughter and I are fine,don't worry about anything else.The person I hit pulled over his car and came over to find out how we were.Luckily we were all fine except for some major work on the vehicles. Minutes later a police car pulls over,enquires what happened,takes our licences,insurance info ,files a report and eventually hands over a ticket for $125:-((
I drive back home because I am too flustered and shocked to drive to main road again ..but on reaching home my daughter is adamant she wants to go to school. So I said to myself as long as we live in US,there is no avoiding driving. At the school,my daughter is so excited and she blurts out "my mummy hit a car ..ya"as though it was a scene from a favorite video game and soon surrounded by curious friends and worried teachers. She enjoyed being the centre of attention:-)
At the end of the day its just a small accident due to my carelessness and overconfidence and we are maybe poorer by $250(for now- and more when we get new insurance rates for next year),I can't help wonder how if I had been 2 seconds late to react,my little accident would have been so much more dangerous.
I guess this made me a better driver and try not to let my mind wander when I am behind the wheels and am responsible for lives in my car and on the road.
All you drivers...Be Safe..Drive responsibly
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Follow the rules...everyone
In my house after a year of constant abuse,our sofa looked ready for the dumpster. We played,ate everything,drew pictures,painted, on our tan fabric sofa that within a year we were thinking of replacing it.
But after looking a cost of buying a new sofa and how it will really cut into our wallet,we decided to steam clean it. Well after spending $100 on it,it looked decent enough for guests to sit.
With that we made a new rule of using the Sofa only for watching TV. No food allowed. Now my kids religiously eat at the kitchen table and wash their hands,dry them and then go to watch TV sitting on the sofa.Yesterday after both kids were asleep,we were watching TV and munching away on a pack of dry fruit and nuts.
Today morning,my 3 year old daughter finds the snack pack on the sofa and enquires who left it there.I carelessly replied ,its mine and we ate some snack yesterday while watching TV.
I thought that was the end of our conversation,but she put on a very serious face and said"Mummy ,you and daddy sat on the sofa and ate food?You need to put it back in the shelf and you can eat only at the table..."the lecture lasted a good 3 minutes and even when I saw her point,I was amazed at her observation and inside I laughed at myself.
I said sorry and put the pack away..learnt my lesson..
Rule is a rule..no matter if you are a 3 year old or a 30 year old:-))
If you do break rules,make sure your kids don't know about it.
But after looking a cost of buying a new sofa and how it will really cut into our wallet,we decided to steam clean it. Well after spending $100 on it,it looked decent enough for guests to sit.
With that we made a new rule of using the Sofa only for watching TV. No food allowed. Now my kids religiously eat at the kitchen table and wash their hands,dry them and then go to watch TV sitting on the sofa.Yesterday after both kids were asleep,we were watching TV and munching away on a pack of dry fruit and nuts.
Today morning,my 3 year old daughter finds the snack pack on the sofa and enquires who left it there.I carelessly replied ,its mine and we ate some snack yesterday while watching TV.
I thought that was the end of our conversation,but she put on a very serious face and said"Mummy ,you and daddy sat on the sofa and ate food?You need to put it back in the shelf and you can eat only at the table..."the lecture lasted a good 3 minutes and even when I saw her point,I was amazed at her observation and inside I laughed at myself.
I said sorry and put the pack away..learnt my lesson..
Rule is a rule..no matter if you are a 3 year old or a 30 year old:-))
If you do break rules,make sure your kids don't know about it.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Mother's Day 2008
This year was be my fifth mothers' day and my son turns 5 in July.
The year he turned 2,I remember being so busy on this day with an active (almost 2) toddler and a 5 month old baby daughter. Don't think I did anything special that year,but I do remember my mom asking me what I would love to get or do this day. And I said I want to hear my son saying"mom". He wasn't verbal then and we were worried about him.
This year my girlfriends and I went for a mother's day out while the husbands watched over the kids. After an uninterrupted lunch, an hour getting nails done and loads of window shopping,I reach home and my son comes running to me calling "Mummy" while all the other kids were busy playing. It was the best gift ever.
Its been just few months that he has been using "mommy" "daddy" to refer to us meaningfully. He was always looking for his dad whenever he went out ,but never really seemed to notice when I wasn't around.But my husband said,ever since I left that day,he has been continuously asking for me and looking around the house.
That made my life more meaningful and enriching...my choice to be a stay-at-home mom so my son gets the best therapies available,to always look out for creative ways to teach my son,everything I can do to help him defeat this mysterious condition of Autism.
I am not the greatest mom he can get..but every day I try my best and have great faith and hope in him.
Happy Mother's Day to all moms reading this .
Next time you worry over trivial things about your kid being a bad eater,or not interested in sports,or not being able to add at age 5--think of moms with special kids for whom little things you all take for granted- like just being able to say " Mommy" are reasons enough for huge celebration!!!!
Thank you JJJ for being the most hardworking kid around and for making your mom so proud
The year he turned 2,I remember being so busy on this day with an active (almost 2) toddler and a 5 month old baby daughter. Don't think I did anything special that year,but I do remember my mom asking me what I would love to get or do this day. And I said I want to hear my son saying"mom". He wasn't verbal then and we were worried about him.
This year my girlfriends and I went for a mother's day out while the husbands watched over the kids. After an uninterrupted lunch, an hour getting nails done and loads of window shopping,I reach home and my son comes running to me calling "Mummy" while all the other kids were busy playing. It was the best gift ever.
Its been just few months that he has been using "mommy" "daddy" to refer to us meaningfully. He was always looking for his dad whenever he went out ,but never really seemed to notice when I wasn't around.But my husband said,ever since I left that day,he has been continuously asking for me and looking around the house.
That made my life more meaningful and enriching...my choice to be a stay-at-home mom so my son gets the best therapies available,to always look out for creative ways to teach my son,everything I can do to help him defeat this mysterious condition of Autism.
I am not the greatest mom he can get..but every day I try my best and have great faith and hope in him.
Happy Mother's Day to all moms reading this .
Next time you worry over trivial things about your kid being a bad eater,or not interested in sports,or not being able to add at age 5--think of moms with special kids for whom little things you all take for granted- like just being able to say " Mommy" are reasons enough for huge celebration!!!!
Thank you JJJ for being the most hardworking kid around and for making your mom so proud
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